So, imagine a five or six-year old who lives with my fictional bear in their home. This bear’s traumatic behavior may include: psychological (emotional), physical, or sexual abuse; violence against a mother or father; substance abuse, mental illness, suicidal tendencies or criminal activities.
These factors are considered as “Adverse Childhood Experiences” or ACE’s. Adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) are potentially traumatic events that can have negative, lasting effects on children’s health and well-being. These experiences are remembered by that child as an adult. ACEs can cause stress reactions in children, including feelings of intense fear, terror, and helplessness when repeated over a prolonged period-of-time and especially in the absence of protective factors.
Toxic levels of stress hormones can interrupt normal physical and mental development in a child’s brain’s architecture. Consider the effects on a five or six-year old who everyday faces “the bear” in their neighborhood in the form of the threat of violence. This same child comes home and another “bear” is there waiting.
Negative outcomes associated with ACEs include some of society’s most intractable health issues: alcoholism, drug abuse, depression, suicide, poor physical health, and obesity. There is also some evidence that ACEs are linked to lower educational attainment, unemployment, and poverty. In childhood, children who have experienced ACEs are more likely to struggle in school and have emotional and behavioral challenges.
Nevertheless, not all children who experience one of these adverse events (or even more than one) are negatively affected; much depends on the context in which they occur—particularly the context of positive relationships. Having a grandparent who loves you, a teacher who understands and believes in you, or a trusted friend you can confide in may mitigate the long-term effects of early trauma, psychologists say.
The most impactful relationships children have are familial,
teachers, friends and their environment. Often parents lack the skills or knowledge to properly assist their children in facing life’s challenges. These gaps in parental skills and knowledge are often generational deficits passed down from grand-parents to parents to children.
Teachers are there to educate our children and often that is difficult because of the emotional stress students are facing in many homes and in their neighborhoods. This stress can show up in the classroom as disruptive, angry and unfocused behaviors.
You and I can help by being a positive relationship in a child’s life. Call a school near you and ask if there is a program for volunteers. Our society asks too much of our teachers and gives them too little support. If you meet a child whose behavior is angry or disruptive, do not ask them what is wrong with you. Instead ask what happened to you today and listen to them. You cannot solve their life challenges or remove "the bear" they may face. You can let them know you care about them and that, in my opinion, is what a child needs most. In fact, in a world filled with “bears”, divisive dialogue and depressing headlines children and adults alike can all use a little tenderness.
Clem Lacy